My problem or yours?

When you are studying, you are thinking for a break. But then, when it comes to break, you are thinking of study. Humans, humans, why you think so much? It is human's nature? I guess it is. 

Man, can I ask you a question? Why you guys so heartless? Why you be so mean to a girl? Are you the only one will get hurt in a relationship? Aren't we get enough priorities towards you? Then tell me why? Why you like to treat a girl like that? Because you are a guy, you wanna act yourself more like a man? Oh my God, treat a girl better please, especially she have devoted herself, mentally and physically. Do you think making a girl cry every night, means you win in this Games? You aren't. You just make yourself more ashamed. And for me, you are a coward. Harming the girl with words, shows how is your real personality. Girls are not a toy, so please treat a girl politely. It is an act of respect, to the girl and to yourself. When I see a girl cried, because of you, I feel she is so pitiful. Please, as a man, can you please stop hurting her again and again? 

Brother, can you just stop posting your selfies and your admired girl picture on Facebook? It is so annoying, and that's why I dislike to open my Facebook. I pretended you as my brother, so do you? I would like to appreciate your kindness attention, if you stop posting again, at least not on my first page of statues. Please~

Guys, guys, you guys really so hard to communicate. I picked my courage to speak with you, can you please speak, at least don't let me think that I am talking with a tree hole? Nope, nope. At least tree holes still have echoes, while you don't have any. Am I look like a monster? Terrible, horrible, hippopotamus scary monster? If I am, I apologise here, but if not, can you tell me why? My guts are precious, you know? Because I don't know how to speak something sweet, like toffee, or alike coy girl. I might be not so active kinda person, but I still hope you can talk with me. 

Guys are so weird, am I too naive and still haven't discover the reality or ...? I just don't understand, yet so curious. But then, why can I do?

Aloha *(o.o)*

Aloha...

The world is full of colour, but sometimes it full of dull as well. 

As well...

I do not know why I like to add on "as well" behind, 

it seems the word can beautify the sentence with no doubts. 

By the way, this is not what I want to say today. 

Hmm... 

Today, ....

It seems a long long time i did not write my blog, 

what a lame opening... 

which I always use to be repeating. 

I still haven't know what should I write for now. 

I just typing, typing and typing for nothing. 

Okay, 

today, i did something great in my life. 

SKYTREKKING. 

What a good experience for me, 

because there is a long long long period I did not do any sports...

since my pre-university and university studies. 

I am so stressed up, since this semester's subjects are such a burden for me. 

Not only that, this fews months, 

I am so sad, because my face full of pimples,

which hardly can cured by now, 

and my health problems become more serious. 

Hair loss, big belly, and pimple face. 

I can't imagine my current appearance. 

Not even school, or gathering. 

Everyone is asking about my face, 

and sometimes I feel so embarrassing. 

Because I do not know how to explain my face condition. 

=.=! It is so hard to explain as well. 

I tried a lot of methods, but it seems useless. 

Haiz. Sigh. 

But, I am not going to GIVE UP so easily. 

This is not me, if I give up so easily. 

I am Carmen. 

Brave Carmen. 

Not like last time de Carmen.

So stay tuned. 

I will return with a new look. 

So again. 

STAY TUNED. 

8)

 

R.E.A.L.I.T.Y

Think another side,
I would like to think something positive now.
You can say I am trying to escape the reality.
AND YES I DO.
Always think the bad side, doesn't change the reality.
Reality is cruel, and we have to admit that.

This world more or less need some cruel, violence, or even selfish people.
Or patient, honest, soft-hearted people.
Balance both side.
To make an equality of harmony.
WoW, the philosophy of mine sounds so "deep"!
I do not know even know I could write this kind of sentence in my entire life.
But YES I DO.
And now I did it in front of my lappy.
Kinda proud of myself.

By the way,
   HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!
 
Nights.

No caption

I tried my best to study some subjects which is not belong to me at the first place.
Study something I hate the most last time.
Interested with something I do not ever know I will in my entire life.
The incident are fate.
Like coincidence.

But, something is not coincidence.
No matter how hard you try to avoid,
no matter how hard you try not to afraid,
no matter how hard you try not to give up,
it is super duper hard.
Counseling will stands only temporarily,
but not hard enough.
Not hard enough to persuade someone to follow what you think.

Become a psychologist, is hard above the sky.
As I do not ever know how to control my own emotions,
do not know how to solve the problems,
and I do not know how hard to give up from this family.
I hope to study overseas, and leave my family here.
Let's them alone.
But, I can't do so.
I still have my youngest brother and sister.
I still have them.
They still need me,  under my care.
I have no ways to escape.
Escape from this reality that I desired not to happen in my life.

I am very tired, super duper tired.
Plus, very stressed out.
Please!

Birthday appreciation. What??!? I hv no ideas what to put for title. (Don't judge, just read)

My birthday ended perfectly.
No party, no cakes, no extra presents from friends.
Purely DINNER with family.
It is fun, especially this year.
And thank you for your wishing.
You gave me surprise too without realising.
Hahhaha....
Such a good brother you are,
remember my birthday.
HahahaHahA.....

I know I keep mumbling that my birthday is coming soon.
But after the long long semester break, I thought you totally forgotten.
Luckily you remember.
If not, Carmen Lim gonna knock your head.
Just kidding, how dare I knock your head o?
Your texting seriously have warmed my heart.
Hahaha....
This year's birthday only can use one word to describe "SWEET"
All my friends and THE ONLY YOU are so sweet to wish me.
Last and no least, 
                  THANK YOU "LILY FLOWER"'s wishing. 
Every year, your message or wishing seems to be the most SWEETEST in the world.
REALLY?
YA, YOU ARE.
The longest wishing message, it seems that you never forget me. XP
You are the most "true" person to wish me.
Once again.
Thank you Lily flower.
Always view my blog secretly.
I hope you can find your another behalf as soon as possible.
Since you are so cheerful and active. :)
You will, so do I.
By the way, I still missed your midnight wishing.
Hahaa.. :)

An early and unexpected birthday 25092014

Supposing tomorrow is my birthday, 

due to the semester breaks fall on next week,

so I didn't expect to get any celebrations AT ALL.

However, it is glad that my super 38 friends celebrated with me.

With 2 cakes. Gosh! Hahaha..... Imma gonna fat soon.

We just know each other only after enrolling the course, specifically on this March intake orientation. 

But you guys just...

                       TOTALLY AWESOME!!

You guys really did something that out of my expectation. 

Thanks for everything you guys have done for me. 

Thanks for lending a hand, when I was in need.

Thanks for every consolation or strength that you guys have gave me. 

Thanks for accompany me to finish every single task, such as assignments, mid-term, and finals. 

Thanks for final checking for my assignment, although you guys are busying with yours too.

Thanks for the caring and your existence in my university life.

Thanks for fetching me in such early morning to school from two little emo guys, but treated me so kind.

All the thanks that I have made are unlimited. 

Last and no least, thanks for remembering my birthday.

Add-ons:

***        I know you guys are suffering thinking what favour of cake should you guys buy for me in the bakery, but finally you guys found it, because of the reason: "Carmen Lim loves Green Tea Latte in school, so Green Tea should be suited her more."

             Secretly, I want to tell you guys what was my expression totally looks like at that time   -_-!

                          JUST KIDDING!!! Don't mad lah. 

***       Actually you guy's surprise failed, because someone accidentally slipped out of "his" mouth.  

***       Now I only realised I got one picture of one of my cake, another one in everyone's stomach.

                                Don't judge me NOOB pls. 

                 "CUZ BIRTHDAY GIRL IS THE QUEEN OF THE DAY/ WEEK."

HAHAHAHAHA...

Geram betul right?? Hahaha....

Then continue your "geram-ness" ba! (^.^)

I do not know. I do not know.

Semester 2 began so fast and now i already in the middle of Sem 2.
Time flies fast, doesn't you think so?
I thought both of us will be super duper busy until no time to meet each other.
But, yay.
You still meet me at Lunch Box, although we sit at different corner, with different buddies.
I thought everything was coming to the end at last semester, but it seems nope.
There are a lot of memories came into my mind, suddenly.
Because of you, I break my limit.
Watch the very first horror movie in my life.
The thrill of the horror movie in the cinema.
The warm embrace.
It imprinted in my mind.
No matter how, once i followed my friends to the cinema for a movie.
Your shadow came into my mind.
Impressive, right?
I do not know.
I just enjoy the feeling of missing you.
The person who sit besides me that always console me when I was scared.
I know in that moment you were scared too.
But you still console me with a hug.
I thought it won't happen again.
But....
Once again, it happened.
Yesterday, I go Sunway for movie.
And my friend accidentally bought the wrong ticket,
and this became my NIGHTMARE.
I was scared because it was a horror movie.
Again my head reflexed to the right side, just like the first movie with you.
I realised something.
The seat was empty.
Again I know.
You are not with me this time.
I am alone.
Without your hug, and without your consolation.
The feeling is so strong.
The feel of missing someone.
It is so unbearable.
I thought I give up long time ago.
Don't I?
And why my heart still pain?
I do not know. I do not know.