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I tried my best to study some subjects which is not belong to me at the first place.
Study something I hate the most last time.
Interested with something I do not ever know I will in my entire life.
The incident are fate.
Like coincidence.

But, something is not coincidence.
No matter how hard you try to avoid,
no matter how hard you try not to afraid,
no matter how hard you try not to give up,
it is super duper hard.
Counseling will stands only temporarily,
but not hard enough.
Not hard enough to persuade someone to follow what you think.

Become a psychologist, is hard above the sky.
As I do not ever know how to control my own emotions,
do not know how to solve the problems,
and I do not know how hard to give up from this family.
I hope to study overseas, and leave my family here.
Let's them alone.
But, I can't do so.
I still have my youngest brother and sister.
I still have them.
They still need me,  under my care.
I have no ways to escape.
Escape from this reality that I desired not to happen in my life.

I am very tired, super duper tired.
Plus, very stressed out.
Please!